Someone asked me the other day if I have made an resolutions for 2015. Seriously. Every single day I’m winging it so the idea of actually making plans and goals for 2015 sends me into a mild panic. Let alone doing it in December. Odd considering that in the past I would not only write them but have them colour coded into different categories. Clearly I had way too much time on my hands. Whilst I’m not one to spend too much time in the past, the idea of setting goals for 2015 did make me wonder about a few things. I figured if I was going to start thinking about 2015 I might as well reflect on the past year and what precisely it is that I’ve managed to achieve. Atleast then I will have some kind of benchmark to work with. So here’s my reflection on 2014 and what I learnt as a result of some life lesson (not counting stuff I just googled to get the answer.)
1. Comparisons are futile. God I did this a lot this year and with absolutely no reasoning other than to send myself around the bend. I remember having coffee in the Valley one morning and I watched as this other mum went by. She was all swishing hair, gorgeous clothes and she just looked like she had her shit together. She was walking with her baby in the stroller and she was wearing heels. She looked the epitome of a yummy mummy (whatever that means) and I was insanely jealous of her. Never mind that I didn’t know her story or anything about her but of course I chose to think that she was a better mother than me for absolutely no reason other than the fact that it didn’t look as though she had mashed banana in her hair. I wasn’t negative towards her, quite the opposite, I was in awe of her. Of course I knew I was being irrational. I’m an intelligent person and I know life doesn’t have the filters of Instagram but this didn’t stop the comparisons.
2. Jamie Oliver is a trickster. In fact I could file a claim against Jamie Oliver for false advertising. 30 minute meals is bullshit. I’ve managed a number of his recipes and I’m talking a bare minimum of 50 minutes on average. He also uses readily and often the phase “the next step is really simple”. Unless you are making his famous toasted cheese sandwich this phrase is also hogwash. This of course is no criticism of Jamie Oliver rather an observation more closely associated to my skill level in the kitchen. Nigella I’m not. (Refer to previous post about not baking whilst injecting for more of an insight into this.)
3. This too shall pass. God knows how many times I have heard this statement since having Charlie. For the most part it made sense but at other times I was too much in the thick of it to believe it. How lovely hindsight is because I can comfortably look back on most of the things I stressed about and as it happens they all passed – teething pain, the dreaded cat nap, separation anxiety, the first visit to emergency, the first toddler tantrum – it all did pass.
4. Never feed a young toddler whilst wearing Sass and Bide. Enough said.
5. It’s okay to show your vulnerabilities. Champagne Days is the very proof that I no longer worry about what people think of me and I’m not afraid to put up my hand if I’m struggling. I know how lucky I am, that’s for sure. Motherhood is wonderful and a privilege but it’s also confronting and not all tea and toast. Earlier this year I promised my grandmother I would start my blog but before I hit that little publish icon I knew I had to be brave because if I was going to do it I was going to do it and be authentic in the process. If you’ve read all of my previous posts especially those that date back to the IVF journey you will know this to be true.
5. Perspective. 2014 was a year of immense joy for me. I watched this gorgeous little baby grow and develop and gosh he makes my heart sing. But 2014 was also a very sad time for so many people, some of whom are very close and dear to me. This year we farewelled my grandmother and it was heartbreaking to watch my family have to say goodbye to her. The news was littered with tragic stories – some far away and others close to home. What I learnt most this year is what really counts. They say you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff and by god this is true. I look back and think of many little things that worried me that in reality (even though they were my reality at the time) it really was small stuff in the end.