So I went to see another psychic. I’ve seen them before, usually for fun but this time it’s game on. I want to know what’s going on and what the hell I have to do. I’m not naive and I don’t listen to the psychic and only hear what I want to hear. I’m hopeful and whilst MM thinks it is all mostly rubbish, it makes me feel a bit better and if I can feel a teeny tiny better (especially on the crappiest of days) then I’ll take that and run. So she tells me that she absolutely sees me having a baby. She tells me she doesn’t say these things lightly and she once had to tell someone that she didn’t think she could see children in their future. She tells me she actually sees two children. Great. But when? Then she tells me she is picking up on a hell of a lot of fear that I have that is surrounding this whole thing and that it is indeed the fear blocking me. This makes perfect sense and Kersty my acupuncturist and I have had this conversation over and over again. She goes on to tell me there are lessons in all of this for me. I tell her I’m sick of lessons and she laughs. She then tells me that the universe doesn’t have a sense of humour. No shit shirlock. Anyway, she has me writing a surrender journal where I have to surrender my fears and I have to choose faith over fear. I chose faith when I was about 15 so this is a bit frustrating but I get it.
I’m getting tired so I decide some online shopping shall do the trick. How I’m drawn to these things I never know but I come across a website for cool and funky jewellery and on the first page is a fertility bracelet. Of course, I look for the sign in this but quite frankly I’m sick of looking at everything like it’s a “sign”. Anyway, it’s made of stones that are full of life force and energy. One stone in particular, the carnelian is believed to influence female reproductive organs and increase fertility. $90 later it arrives in 5 days. Atleast its pretty.