It’s 4.30pm in the afternoon and the fact that I’m still in my pj’s is indicative of how I’m feeling. It’s been hormone city this week, those progesterone pessaries really do pack a punch.
I’ve struggled to write this week because the idea of blogging is to explain how I’m feeling and what I’m experiencing and I’m struggling a bit with this at the moment. The last couple of cycles I’ve had I’ve recalled the 2 week wait has mostly been about feeling insanely tired – a symptom of those damn pessaries again. Some people say that it’s something I should get use to, that’s what being pregnant is about but my argument is this – when you are pregnant there’s a baby and well at the moment, I’m experiencing all the symptoms, that doesn’t necessarily mean that there is a baby. If there was, then quite frankly, I’d happily suck up the tiredness and then some. Bring it on I say. I swear I’d stick my head in the toilet and smile at morning sickness if it meant that I was pregnant.
This week I’ve surprised myself at how irrational and irritable I’ve been. Seriously, I’m a bitch this week. Everything is annoying me and my tolerance for anything is insanely low. Even as I type this I can hear the neighbours making some noise and I’m silently huffing at them.
Towards the end of the coming week I will know if this latest IVF cycle has worked. Some women say that they “just know”, I wish I had that same kind of intuition. Maybe I do, maybe I’m just too scared to type what I feel the answer will be. What I do know though is that I’ve survived the “no” phone call before and whilst it doesn’t get easier I do know that I do end up getting out of bed the next day and I do just get on with it. There won’t be another cycle this year. There would be something akin to madness to put myself through an IVF cycle smack bang at Christmas so it will be new year for me. BUT…. no point thinking about that because it could also be a “Yes” phone call. Every part of my soul is praying for a yes.[warning][/warning]