In recent days, very recent days, there has been a shift. A mood of eerie surrealism and a sense of being unmoored from reality. Of being emotionally unravelled by our social media feeds, our inboxes and the silence in the streets. At 8am this morning I go for coffee, I locked eyes with a stranger,…
anxiety
Assume we are all doing the best we can
It all started with a disposable coffee cup. Waiting in line for my coffee, there were two women in front of me. They seemed to know each other, their interactions polite, not overtly but in a reserved manner. A bit like knowing of someone but not really knowing them. They ordered coffees, with one of them…
Me, myself and anxiety
Anxiety manifests itself in many ways. Physically and or psychologically, fears and phobias. My version is generally centred around health and an intense fear of those close to me getting sick. Really sick. It’s not something that consumes me, it surfaces when everything is going well and then someone (usually MM or Charlie) complains of feeling…
The mother I wish I was
Lately I’ve been feeling a bit anxious about my skill as a mother. I use the word skills lightly because I’m mostly just winging motherhood, I sure as hell don’t think I’m particularly skilled at it. I don’t use the word anxious lightly because, well I’m usually anxious about something. Between work, motherhood, being a wife, attempting…
Bloody hell
I wish I could say that the next 6 months of pregnancy went without a hitch and that the following months were of zen like pregnancy yoga and glowy skin and hair but that then would be poppycock. Of course after everything, I loved that I was pregnant and not a day went by when I didn’t feel…
A scare and a turtle
A week before Christmas MM and I were due to fly out to the Maldives. Throughout all of this IVF caper, travel was our outlet and the fact that we are lucky to still afford to travel whilst spending our money on fertility treatment does not escape me. When we were planning this holiday it…