Every now and then there is a meme that pops up on Facebook that goes along the lines of not comparing yourself to someone else’s Facebook activity because it’s really just our highlight reel. It rings true to me, being the queen of comparisons and all. I know if everything for me is going to custard it seems everyone else is holidaying in Europe. Sound familiar? This can be even more the case with Instagram, or as the kids like to call it, ‘insta’. I do love social media, at it’s best it can be fun, breezy and inspiring but at worst it can be hateful, hurtful and dangerous. In my world, it doesn’t consume me and I don’t need it so maybe that’s the distinction. I do think it’s easy though to have this perception that everyone else is living a life of pretty, shiny things, glossy hair, perfect skin and green smoothies on the go – all of course bundled up with a bow on it (or in the case of instagram with a soft, light filter.) Whereas the reality is vastly different as everyone has a story and a battle of sorts. I’m crap at photography so I do often look at those pictures and not only wonder about the lives those people live but more so how damn clever they are with a camera. I don’t begrudge anyone for showing the lovely cool stuff that they have going on in their world, mainly because I know behind every Instagram shot there is a pile of washing to be done, an empty milk bottle in the fridge and an unresolved argument with a partner/colleague/friend (possibly about said empty milk bottle). For the most part I think what you see on Instagram is for a lot of people a release from the day to day trappings of life and we all need this kind of release, creativity to me is akin to therapy and that can only be a good thing. I do think it’s important though that we don’t focus on this so-called polished identity and therefore hide from showing what is real, our true colours without filter. Our lowlights reel.
My authentic and fabulous self is frequently riddled with self doubt and worry so here is what my Facebook activity doesn’t say about me:
My day on the plate (you know those columns you read where inspiring people tell you what they’ve eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Make no mistake, this isn’t a criticism of these articles, I’m genuinely inspired) but my day on the plate usually consists of cereal, toast, coffee, sandwiches and whatever I rustle up for dinner. It does not consist of green smoothies/egg white omelettes/poached chicken/quinoa salad/kale/litres of water.
Two weeks ago I cried at work. I had a rather unpleasant situation with a client and it upset me ALOT. I cried big fat wet tears and the situation made me feel like crap for most of the weekend.
I hate that sometimes I am a sucky friend. I should make more of an effort to ring my friends but sometimes I just don’t.
I often feel like a fraud. Even more so these days with this blogging business and I would never, ever consider to call myself a “blogger”. By the way, feeling like a fraud is a real thing, it’s called Imposter Syndrome.
I get anxious very easily and will occasionally talk to a counsellor about what is commonly referred to as “anxiety disorder”. I have this tremendous talent of catastrophising everything – more so when everything is going great guns.
So there you have it. It’s lucky of course that I’m an optimist because despite all of the above I do absolutely realise that I live a fortunate life – the trifecta actually – husband/home/family – health – career. But non of it’s perfect, I’m not perfect but I’m perfectly okay with that.